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Roots to nurture and wings to fly, the best gift we can give our children.
When you have a child, you need to focus on the seven keys to be a better father or mother. You often miss an instruction manual to know what to do.
In addition, as children grow older, what used to be helpful to you at one time may expire and force you to reinvent yourself.
Most of us do our best, and there is no perfect parent (that’s what we’re humans for, not fairy-tale characters!).
But, having said all the above, with a challenge of these dimensions, what is in our hands to improve our fatherhood now and in the future?
The best way is to work on our attitude
- According to parents, the primary responsibility is early childhood education.
- Although the context remains the same, if we change, the relationship with our children is also transformed.
- Based on the experience of a father and a mother, let’s see what we can train as parents to help our children in their development and enjoy this part of our life.
Get to know each other
First, we need to get to identify each other better. How will we teach our children emotional intelligence if we do not know how to talk about what happens to us if we fall into reproach, silence, or feelings that exceed us?
The first step to managing something is knowing it. So let’s take time for self-reflection.
Let us ask ourselves questions about what is happening to us, let us have trusted people to talk about it and find new points of view.
Let us unleash cuteness
Second, let us unleash cuteness. It is the first language with which we communicate with our children and uphold it over the years.
Tenderness means wishing the other person is well and taking care of them from our vulnerability and closeness, without armor.
And also, for that once again, we need to learn to treat ourselves well. If we fall into constant guilt or self-demand, tenderness magically disappears …
For this reason, when a harmful thought assails us, let us relativize it and find a way to also give affection to ourselves.
Let’s put the judgments aside
Third, let’s put the judgments aside. Our children will be what they want to be, not what we strive for them to be.
If we continually compare them to what we would like them to be, we are doing them a disservice.
Accepting them without expectations is giving them the freedom to be themselves.
Therefore, park what “could have been” and value what is.
Let’s play and think positive
Fourth, let’s play and think positively. We need to go back to the game, enjoy ourselves, bring out that childish part that we all carry inside.
And, of course, build a kind mindset. We are all assaulted by some moments of victimhood or pessimism. And a while may be fine.
But if we constantly fall into it, we give them a burden, which will drain them of strength and vitality.
Let’s start looking at the glass as half full and laughing a little more at ourselves and at what surrounds us.
Fifth, actively listening. When our kids are young, we often have a hard time listening to them with interest.
Their songs don’t always catch our attention, but it will be more difficult for them to tell us about their problems when they grow up if we don’t practice them.
We need, therefore, to ask them about their things sincerely and give our children quality conversation time.
Recover the value of slowness
Sixth, let’s recover the value of slowness. Possibly one of the significant challenges. Cell phones and speed are tempting distractions for everyone.
But it isn’t easy to educate through WhatsApp. Emotions take time to digest, and building a healthy relationship requires patience.
Let’s find resources to train patience and prevent our hot buttons from popping.
Focus on child’s learning
And seventh, let’s focus on learning. Life is not just waiting for the storm to pass but learning to dance in the rain.
And also achieve this when we find learning in what we do not like, and we manage to reinvent ourselves despite the difficulty.
In this way, we will be giving them clues to train resilience.
So ask yourself: what is this event teaching me now? And is this Keys to be a better father or mother helping me.
In short, for Keys to be a better father or mother, the best gifts we can give our children are summarized in two: roots to grow and wings to fly, and we only achieve this when we cultivate a close attitude, without judgment and oriented to learning and with tenderness.
Even if we do all of the above, we will surely be wrong a thousand times because we will continue to be human.
But let’s consider our children teachers of ourselves or mirrors in which we see ourselves reflected.
We can take advantage of this relationship as training to better complete ourselves as people.